The Art of the V-Date

I love multiple-partner dates! Most of my partners’ partners are awesome people, and, naturally, we have a big something in common. So when we get the chance to go out and do something together, it’s usually lots of fun.

I’ve said before, I’m not prone to jealousy. It doesn’t bother me at all when my date gives her other date a kiss or a hug or petting or handholding or whatever PDA is appropriate. Not everyone is quite as comfortable with PDA – giving, receiving, or witnessing – as I am. Make sure your partner is comfortable, and your partner’s partner is comfortable. Make sure you communicate if something bothers you.

Also, the frame of the evening is very important to know up front. Before all parties arrive, know what the staying/sleeping/leaving arrangements are planned to be. I personally am fine whether I’m slated to be the one staying or the one leaving after the date. Of course, many of the best threesomes are spontaneous, rather than planned, and there is always a chance that we’ll all end up in bed together. But barring this, knowing ahead of time that you’re the one leaving or sleeping in the other room goes a lot way to preventing hurt feelings. No surprise here: Communicate!

There are some skills you need, in addition to proper communication, for a successful v-date. For instance, adults hand-in-hand-in-hand, three abreast, take up a lot more room than you’d think. Holding children’s hands hands, one on each side, means you can squeeze through most crowds and obstacles because you’re not taking up that much more room than two adults holding hands. Crazy bike riders, rushing pedestrians, dog walkers, trees all take up valuable space on a sidewalk that the three of you need to occupy. You’ll be doing a lot of jockeying for position, having a partner speed up or fall back to reduce the width of your entourage.

If this isn’t a city v-date, you’ll need to perform this same jockeying for position in a car. Sometimes, “Shotgun!” is enough to make seating arrangements. Just make sure you’re being fair to everyone. Again, if you feel like you are being left out or you are always forced to sit in the back seat with your feet on the hump, just say something.

Remember how lucky you are to have this sort of relationship with your partner and a good relationship with your partner’s partner. A healthy V-relationship is still a triangle – I just like to think that there is a solid line drawn between me and my partner, and her and her partner, and a dashed line drawn between said metamour and myself.

All three of you are going out on a date to enjoy yourselves and have fun. So, have fun!

2 thoughts on “The Art of the V-Date

  1. I hope to one day be as good at this as you seem to be. 🙂 ❤

    • swayjack says:

      It’s part natural predisposition and part practice. You need to have some jealousy at some point to realize what it feels like and work to keep future jealousy at bay.
      But mostly, it’s practice, practice, practice.

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