A young (but still of age, do I have to specify that for legal reasons?) reader of mine recently emailed me for advice. Here is a plain and somewhat proper English translation (sorry, dude!) of his story.
Twice now, he had gone down below to administer oral pleasure to his lady friend. The first time, he said, about two minutes in, she squirmed away from his head and scooted him up on top of her, grabbed a condom and said, “Let’s try something else…”
The second time, he said he was down there less than two minutes, and she tapped him on the shoulder and said, “You just relax and let me play for a little while.” He went on with some tasty details about some of her moves on him, but that’s not my story to share. (Although I always like perving out to any hot stories any of you feel like sharing!)
The third time, she stopped him as soon as he made a move to, “put [his] head down there.”
He went on to ask me why she kept stopping him, and wanted to know what I thought he did wrong. Well, I am happy to provide my wisdom! Both wisdom and administering oral pleasure are specialties of mine, and I am happy to take an enthusiastic young apprentice under my wing.
Young apprentice, you got the Tap Out. Typically, the tap out will happen within two or three minutes after the start of some particular activity, and it means that whatever you are doing isn’t working for her, and you aren’t picking up whatever signals or moves she is sending you to adjust your position, speed, pressure, technique.
She is trying to subtly direct you so she doesn’t have to be an air traffic controller. Although personally, I really enjoy when a partner can’t finish the directions for something new. “Ooh, a little to the left, left, harder, ha—-aaaaaaah.” Oh, just the thought of it gets me going.
First thing: rather than asking me, you should be asking her. I don’t know the intricacies of her unique and, I’m sure, lovely vagina. Chances are, she does. Great sex needs great communication. In the heat of the moment, I am sure she was being delicate so she didn’t discourage you or hurt your feelings.
Second, she was gentle and supportive about it. Trust me, she appreciated the effort, even if the results were less than satisfactory. She didn’t call off the fun, she didn’t tell you to cease and desist. Instead, she moved you into a different activity. She still wanted to play with you. This is not the end of the world.
Third, he says he “kinda” likes doing it but mostly feels like he needs to repay the oral sex she gives him with oral sex on her. To this, I say you needn’t repay favors in kind. If she responds well to your fingers and your touching, and not so well to your head that you “kinda” enjoy giving, well, keep on using your fingers! Again, clearly, she enjoys having sexy time with you! But it’s my experience that oral sex is best left to those who fucking love it, rather than those who “kinda” like it. Enthusiasm and responsiveness will get you everywhere!
But most importantly is point one. Communicate! Ask her! If you truly want to please her, ask her what pleases her. Believe me, having her show you what pleases her is always, always super hot. And if it turns out your unique mouth is not suited to her unique vagina, there are lots of other fun ways to play. Now, it’s up to you to go try!