I have a really hard time with hierarchies and assigning levels of importance to my relationships. I know there are certain things that trump everything. Anything involving my kids, for instance, takes precedence over pretty much everything else. Things involving my wife come next, but I admit that I fuck that up when it comes to wife time around things that aren’t scheduled or obviously prioritized or event-based.
If there’s an Event or we’ve scheduled something, I am great. When it comes to filling unassigned time, though, she tells me that she feels like I don’t think about her. That’s not it at all! I think about her all the time! I am, though, a poor judge of how I make her feel when I schedule time away. I admit that I can be a selfish cunt and I schedule myself a lot of time away, and that if a day suddenly opens up I don’t immediately give that time to her. I can be thoughtless and short-sighted with my calendar, but I’m working on it.
I’m still learning how to balance everyone. Maybe this is my Achilles Heel. Priority and demonstrating value might be the Big Skills I need time and practice to learn. I just hope I don’t hurt too many more feelings while I am practicing. Today, though, there was a cancellation on the calendar and I get all I can eat sushi with my wife! There are no words to describe how lucky a man am I.
My bride, my sexy, lovely, amazing wife, I love you!