There have been a lot of first dates happening in my modest constellation. Some of my girls have been going out and seeing some new boys and girls, and with some of my partners, we haven’t been together quite long enough for me to take for granted us being together. It could be that this is just another insecurity post, but I have figured out what helps me feel better when new people are being introduced around me.
Just today, I actually wrote out some reassuring sentiments, myself, to the girls, since I am going on a first-date tomorrow with a lovely girl I met at a poly mingle (and more on that to come). It went something like this:
I’m not replacing you or giving away your spot. I care about you very much. You are dear and special to me and I still love you. You are still very important to me. Don’t worry that you are going to get bumped or dumped or replaced.
I know how much better I feel when I know what is going on when there’s someone new being put into the mix. And we are just getting to know each other – she is not being permanently added into the constellation or becoming a fixture right now. I don’t know her well enough to guess what will possibly happen. But no matter what happens, whether she gets a promotion or we just don’t click, my feelings for you are as strong as ever and I don’t want her to take anything away from us. I love you and I am still yours.
This is what I need to hear to feel comfortable, myself. These are the things that I worry about. So, lovely partners of mine, maybe don’t copy and paste that to me, just remind me I’m still important when things are changing in our little world.