The cheese theory

When asked to explain what polyamory is to mono/vanilla (manilla!) friends, I use my wife’s Cheese Theory.

What’s your favorite cheese? Well, since you can’t answer me, we’ll just say it’s cheddar. That cheddar is our marriage and it’s our favorite, favorite cheese! But, she says, we’ll be dipping into that cheddar for the rest of our lives. And just because that cheddar is your very favorite, you can still love Gouda and Edam. And when you’re feeling totally crazy, some havarti and cheddar fondue, well, that could just blow your mind! But your enjoyment of the mozzarella doesn’t diminish your love for the cheddar. You always come back to the cheddar.

3 thoughts on “The cheese theory

  1. Kelly says:

    We use a similar theory that uses cars. At 23 we were married and bought a car, we love that car but sometimes we want a sports car, other times we need a 4wd or a people mover. The first car we got ‘our marriage’ does better when it is not driven into the ground, also sometime driving another car reminds how much you love your other car and how well you know it.

  2. I have a similar theory I’ve dubbed The CheeseCAKE Theory: my husband is my life-giving, daily source of nourishment and sustenance. My three squares. And I am his.

    The boyfriend is cheesecake — a sweet indulgence I permit myself every so often. No, of course one never really NEEDS cheesecake…but what sort of world would it be, without indulging in the odd decadent delight?

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