The same three questions…

I have been coming out to more of my non-poly friends lately. I have noticed a pattern emerging when I come out to my male friends. I tend to get the same three questions.
You mean… like swingers? No.
Are you and your wife still…? Yes.
Does she see other people too? Yes.
Huh. Cool. Anyway…

As I get more and more comfortable with it, it is easier to be more open and out. Tonight at our local big box chain tex-mex restaurant (which serves guacamole made table-side so I can get it without cilantro) I was sitting at the end of the table between wife and GF, holding both of their hands. I was at my usual level of PDA, again with both or them. I wonder what our waitress thought.

Still, I did rein myself in after I almost dropped a, “my wife’s boyfriend,” at work… but I’m getting there.

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2 thoughts on “The same three questions…

  1. Terri Jones says:

    Because we in the US are so immersed in a mono or exclusivity mindset, nearly everyone I have explained to directly asks those three general questions. The middle one always confuses me, though. One person asked me if M and I were still *together*-together when she’d seen us kiss and hug moments before. Like, that is more acceptable than that we have nurtured our ability to share and accept more than one love. When I pointed that out, she said well, her parents still do that and they don’t sleep together anymore.

    Well, okay. I’m not your parents? 🙂

  2. Asenath says:

    Not the questions I get… Of course, I’m unmarried and generally younger than my partners. So I’m usually assumed to the be home wrecking mistress… Hence, the three questions I always get are:

    “So…does that wife know about you?…”
    “Okay, so, they’re separated, right?”
    “Oh! Okay! So they just don’t love each other anymore!”

    Granted, that last one was a statement, but I always treat it as a question. And, of course, usually somewhere in there, I’ll be asked if I’m dating the wife, too.

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