All the good men are taken

A dear, but mono, friend of mine was recently complaining that, “all the good men are taken.” She recently ended a relationship with a cheating and less than honest, but otherwise great man. She was attracted to him because he didn’t have any single guy habits that she thought she would have to break or retrain. He was already relationship-trained. She didn’t have to convince him not to play Halo to come out and play with her. She didn’t have to remind him to put the toilet seat down. She didn’t have to worry about poor table manners when they (however infrequently) went out to dinner.

So in her further pursuit of eligible single men, she realized that the old adage is true: A single man is only single because there is a woman who has had enough of his shit.

I was telling her that in the poly community, this is less of an issue. Chances are, people who are genuinely committed to poly are already active in at least one relationship. We are all somewhat mature, have rudimentary time management skills, and know how to have a romantic relationship with someone of the sex in which we are interested. Poly but mostly single people are usually pretty good at maintaining healthy relationships, too.

That’s not to say there aren’t creepy poly assholes who don’t know how to treat someone properly. Believe me: there are. In general, though, I think it’s a more enlightened and conscientious crowd. So, all you single ladies: If you want a man, look for a man who is already with someone! You don’t have to be a homewrecker to get someone who is already housebroken.

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