I hear it from so many guys at poly events. “Dude, it is so hard to meet women.” I’m sorry to tell you, chumpy, but, no, it isn’t.
My poly relationship is a little nonstandard. I have had far more success than my wife. Most of what we have seen in the Chicago poly scene is the other way around. The wife is caught cheating or wants to have another partner. She brings the husband along for the ride. Now the husband doesn’t even know how he managed to luck in to his marriage, much less how to woo somebody new.
So what we see are wives out having fun with their boyfriends while the hubbies stew at home, complaining about how hard it is to meet women.
I said it before, and I’ll say it again. It is not hard to meet women. Women are everywhere. True, women who are committed to poly are far scarcer than normal serial monogamistas. But they are out there. The idea pulling these threads together is, “out there.” Aside from internet dating, the men are right about one thing: it is hard to meet women while complaining at home.
After a while, the hubbies get so desperate that they hit on the girls at poly events. They are territorial and relentless. I walk around and mingle between all of the little groups and every single girl I come to say hi to has a dude standing too close to her, angry and frustrated that he is being cock-blocked. Everyone present is polyamorous. If she is interested, the dude does not have to stake a claim.
But these frustrated and desperate husbands also need to remember that open and poly do not mean indiscriminate. Just because a girl is poly, hell, let’s come right out and say that just because a girl is even a bit slutty, she is not going to sleep with everyone.
What is the point here? Go out. Talk to women. Make friends. If you make friends you want to fuck, good for you! If you make friends and there is no spark, no flame, that is great, too. Remember, she probably has friends of her own for you to meet.
Be social. Don’t be a dick. And go out there and meet someone!